Happy Saturday, World!
It has been such a long time since I have been on this and have been able to share my life with all of you. This is not just a regular post, this a fresh start.
I'm going to put my all into this blog and instead of just making it about what I'm wearing and brands and new stores to try, I'm going to simply make it about me and having this be my personal diary, my personal journal. I want this to be more about me and sharing with you guys my struggles., my accomplishments, my laughs, my life. I'm not so great at expressing my emotions with people, but am great when other people ask me what they should say to so and so through text because so and so doesn't understand that that person has to do things for themselves. That was just an example. I want this blog to be as laid back as possible and something people go to because they can relate. Something so you don't feel like you are alone as well as to be your friend. Sharing my experiences and talking one on one is my goal.
So let's chat.
Grab your lemon water and come vent to me while I do the same. I'll go first. So lately life has been feeling like this is it.
I have had to keep asking myself, "why am I here?" Lately I just haven't been feeling like myself. I'm sure that this is something normal. Something that pretty much everyone has to go through, just apart of life type of thing. But it has just really been effecting me a lot lately. So if anyone has noticed that I'm a lot more in my egg, more than usual that is. It's because of that. I just haven't been feeling like myself, i haven't been feeling very productive or inspired or creative or anything. I've just been feeling like blahhhhh.
Do I have to get up? Do I have to do anything today? because I don't want to.
Even the smallest, most simplest thing are the hardest thing for me to do. I feel like I've been moving around in peanut butter. That's me everyday all day. I can get 12 hours of sleep and I still feel like crap! It's honestly mind blowing. I can be falling asleep and I'm here telling myself like "noooooooooooooo, don't do it. get up!" Next thing I know I'm waking up from the 6 hour nap I just took.
But now, I'm finally getting out of it and I honestly don't even know how I am. I truthfully believe that time helped heal me. I didn't really talk to anyone to just make sure I never feel like that ever again. I kind of have just been going through it. Like a champ.
I've been also going through something where I want to rediscover myself. I've just been like well, "who is Kalyn? What does Kalyn like? What makes Kalyn genuinely happy?" I feel like when people ask me, "what fun?" or like "what do you want to do?" Nothing really comes to mind. I'm not saying that nothing is fun or that I don't have fun. It's just like no specific activity sounds "fun" to the point where I'm jumping out of my seat to do it. There's obliviously things in life that are fun like going to the beach or on a little city adventure. It's just not what I think about when I think about the answer people are looking for when they ask me those questions. I feel like all of us, teens like myself are supposed to be doing all these activities and specifically because this year because it's senior year! Things just aren't like that. I don't know if I'm making the most sense right now, but that's just that. I'm just happy I'm slowly, but surely crawling out of this big, little rock I have been under.
There's something that actually has been helping me get out of these funky moods and that's a podcast. I never really found them interesting or even gave them a shot. BUT I was laying in bed, scrolling through Twitter and came across this beautiful soul named Princess Nokia. Her spirit is so loved already and not just by other people, but most importantly by her. Her self, self love! She knows who she is and has the business sense to make this world work for her. Her podcast is called Smart Girls Club.
Here's the link:
So much self love and respect. It's something that has really been helping me get out of this weird mood and weird fog that I have been in. If I wake up really early I listen to it or before bed at night. Mental health, empowerment, and not having obligations are a way of life and something that I want to be able to wire off from.
So this is me opening up. I want to create, I want to get up and go, I want to explore. I'd just like to take you all with me. I want to not change the world yet, but to change myself.
And lastly on an even more positive note, I have been getting in to all of my colleges. I'm just missing to hear back from 3 which are instate. It's something I have been able to give myself a pat on the back with, something I'm proud of. Picking a school right now is a little stressful, but I know that I'll get through it so I can't wait to share with you all when that time does come.
I hope all of you have been feeling wonderful and that you make 2017 your year. Pisces season is coming in ya'll. My birthday is my new year. February 19th!!!! The hype of 18 years on this earth. I have to think about what I'm doing so if any of you have an idea, comment on my insta, DM me, @ me on Twitter, text me. Anything. I'd love to hear from you guys! Thank you for coming back on my blog and catching up with me.
Keep shining guys! I love you long time
xoxo,
Kalyn
Cheers to a new year!
